What I got from App Dating... And it wasn't dates
I found myself in the dating world mid to late last year where with the advancement of time and technology since last being in scene (well only time on the scene), it had changed from the traditional style of meeting to Apps, with our generation this is now a large way in which we date.
Life can be busy and we spend a lot of times on our phone so why not date here too? When I first jumped online, I wasn’t sure what to do. In fact, I didn’t know how to date. Following up to a previous blog “dating an available mum” you will remember, it was a nerve wracking game to be in, but with a little experience now and making it part of a lifestyle, App dating is second nature, however.. what I have gotten from it is not romantic dates or relationships.
I set out thinking that we had expectations to find someone, click with them and assume that it was protocol to start a relationship. But hang on, didn’t I just end a long term one because this is not what I wanted? Correct, I was after the middle ground.
My first attempt on app dating, I got it all wrong. I went out strong and definitely scared the guy. So after a few weeks of great sex and a lot of pizza it is very common out there to say thanks and move on. At first, I thought this was strange because I hadn’t experienced it but now it has become apart of App dating unstated norms. It is not always the experience I have had friends go into long term relationships and even marry from an App, but mostly if dating is a part of your lifestyle.
Now while we are talking, I will let you in on a secret, dating and following the standard guidelines are definitely not my strong point, mostly in general I don’t conform well to social standards anyway. I have been on a lot of dates now and not necessarily seeking anything other than sometimes it is nice to have a drink with someone instead of sipping wine alone on the couch asking Google Home to tell you facts whilst you endorse your colleagues on LinkedIN as a part of your mid week night time routine – yes this has become a favorite activity of mine. I am sure if the right one came along and I was ultimately “wowed” I would go along with it, but it just hasn’t happened yet, however, I can tell you what has…
On the scene I have met incredible men who have helped me in many aspects of life. One has helped me with Uni exams and assignments – the benefits of dating a Doctor. One who would watch low grade horror movies with me when they knew I was in need of just a friend during a hard period. Another who kicked started my whole career by supporting my business idea, introducing me to the right people and getting my foot into the door, and another who was a friend and introduced me the ecosystem of the rollercoaster ride of having a startups – think of him as more of mentor.
Like anything in life, App dating has a legion of pros and cons but whatever position you find yourself in, you have to make it work for you. As I said, we all have other focuses that keep us busy. We often hear the negatives of online dating but from my experience, you can get a lot more from it than you initially set out to do. Form some life long connections and networking not necessarily on the romantic side, and if anything, you can make some great friends because look, we all need someone to call when we lock ourselves out of our apartment to pass the time till the manager comes back with the key. Had we not met on Tinder, I would have been standing in the street. Thanks App dating, you have ultimately change world. You never know what the next swipe might hold.